Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
