Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
