he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
