we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
