you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
