The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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