I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
