I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
