i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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