There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
