Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
