Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

saw you walking with that piece of shit

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

and that piece of shit just read that

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(201): View more from New Jersey

she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart

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(410): View more from Maryland

She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with

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(770): View more from Georgia

I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....

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(212): View more from New York

You're the only person not starstruck by him

(302): View more from Delaware

Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.

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(816): View more from Missouri

This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so

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