they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize