Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
