Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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