Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
you never un-have a 4some
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
