Cold hands, warm shart.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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