I bet he comes in French.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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