I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
