Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
