No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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