i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
