It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
