so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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