im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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