I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
