I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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