Porn is love you can see.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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