So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
