Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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