Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
they need to just BURY HIM!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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