Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
