If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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