I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
