I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I believe in your delicious
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
