Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
