We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
