I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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