I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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