i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she smelled like a LAN party
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
