She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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