You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
