Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
