Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
id be glad to
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
