Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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