it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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