Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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