Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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