I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
