There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize