I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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