I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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