You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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