I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
