I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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