you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
