is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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