I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
