i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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