So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
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