I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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