When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
